Carys Evans.

Since its release, Adolescence has been the #1 trending show on Netflix UK. Created by Stephen Graham and Jack Thorne, it offers a harrowing insight into the violent realities of young people’s lives, relationships, and emotions today.

Like many working to prevent male violence against women and girls, I’ve been encouraged by the conversations sparked by its release. The show confronts the realities of misogyny, violent masculinity, online incel ‘truth groups,’ and the dehumanisation of girls – unfolding in the bedrooms of children, to the anguish of parents and educators. To me, and many who do this work, these topics are shocking but not surprising. 

A few years ago,ConnectFutures designed a workshop on “violent misogyny and incel culture” for schools where female staff no longer felt safe in their classrooms. According to their teachers, some boys, influenced by figures like Andrew Tate, refused to be taught by women, believing they were biologically incapable of understanding men. 

Other schools and colleges have asked us to deliver workshops on healthy relationships but awkwardly ask that our youth workers be “someone the boys will listen to” – code for a typically masculine, ‘Alpha’ male. While I understand the rationale, it evidences an unnerving reality: certain brands of masculinity command authority. 

After the Summer riots of 2024, I saw much online discourse insisting the violence was mostly a-political – “It was just young men looking for a scrap!” Alongside the dismissal of racism, Islamophobia, and broader considerations of intersectionality, the notion that violent male behaviour is an unavoidable aspect of their nature should alarm us all.

The unchallenged power of certain masculinities, the casual dismissal of male violence, and the tangled impact these ideas have on society are precisely why Adolescence is so vital. It forces us to confront gender expectations normalised by many.

Young people navigating puberty have always faced self-doubt and insecurity, especially about relationships. Today, these feelings are exploited by online influencers for profit and power. Adolescence works hard to show us how concepts like the ‘Manosphere’ show up online, where children and young people are told fallacies like: 

  • 80% of women desire only 20% of men.
  • Women with multiple partners are worth less than men who do the same.
  • Strength, dominance, and emotional detachment are the paths to male desirability.
  • Society should be restructured so women are forced to be with ‘lower-status’ men, relying on popular concepts like ‘forced monogamy’ (the belief that society should enforce monogamous relationships to ensure that all men, especially those who struggle to attract partners, are guaranteed a romantic or sexual relationship).
  • Sexual rejection by women is evil, and vengeance is justified.

The 13-year-old protagonist in Adolescence has absorbed all of this. But these aren’t the only messages shaping him. His male teachers assert dominance through anger, while those who don’t are mocked. Girls in his school call him an “incel”, while his male peers share semi-nude photos of them on Snapchat. His father’s devastating pain manifests as aggression; only alone does he fall apart.

The stories we tell about men, women, boys, and girls have weight; their impact is non-discriminating and universal. Adolescence screams what often goes unspoken; we must listen. 

For those who saw the show and want to learn more about the concepts it explores, we can help. We have a blog about how to discuss the Manosphere in UK classrooms. In 2023, one of our young,male staff members wrote about his understanding of the Manosphere and Red Pill spaces, including discussion of algorithmic radicalisation and toxic influencers. We have some useful work on the Online Safety Bill, that aims to make the UK the safest place to be online. For a breakdown on what we mean when we say ‘Incels, the Manosphere, MGTOW’, you can read this piece. 

As parents, educators or those working with young people, here are some key tips you’ll find in these blogs:

  • Expand your knowledge of online spaces: Go beyond Google, Chat GPT, Facebook, and Instagram to the platforms young people are on – ask them what they are! If children and young people are in these spaces, so are their exploiters. 
  • Gaming and the manosphere: Online games like Call of Duty and Roblox are spaces where racism, misogyny, and extremism appear frequently – understand that if your children or students are in these spaces, they are likely exposed to these phenomena. 
  • Open communication over restriction: Banning games or internet access is not always helpful. Online is a place many people feel comfortable and flourish so should not be demonised. Equally, young people will find other ways to engage, including downloading VPNs to overcome parental controls. Instead, monitor changes in behaviour and political views and be curious about their online experiences.
  • Equip yourself with knowledge: Familiarise yourself with the language and narratives common in manosphere spaces, much of this is covered above and in our other blogs. This is also a useful resource, though I’d encourage reflection on the impact of the manosphere on all people – not just teenage boys. 
  • Create a safe space for discussion: Encourage young people to share their ideas and beliefs, but don’t be afraid to respectfully challenge. Ask them how their ideas develop and encourage them to reflect. Avoid confrontation – listen and model mutual respect.
  • Challenge sexism: Make clear the importance of valuing women and girls as agentic individuals. Role-model all forms of masculinity as well as healthy friendships between men and women. 
  • Question our assumptions: Educators must reflect on how our biases shape the way we treat, speak to, and set expectations for young people. For example, how do we interact differently with boys and girls? In what ways does this benefit and hinder them? How do we treat white boys compared to racially or ethnically minoritised boys? How do our perceptions of class and poverty influence our assumptions and, in turn, our actions? Asking these questions supports a critical and intersectional practice. 

It is important to watch and discuss shows like Adolescence. While its themes are deeply troubling, we should remember there exist dedicated educators working hard to counter the violent misogyny it exposes. If you are worried about what you watched, start with the blogs I have suggested here.

 If you want to learn more, reach out to us. 

NEW: Our 60-90 minute Incels, Misogyny and the Manosphere workshop designed for staff, educators and professionals can be found here.

This workshop is tailored and intended to support you to confidently recognise symbols, language and propaganda of extreme misogyny and incel ideology. It will also provide a greater understanding of online and gaming spaces and how they influence this type of thinking. Participants will leave with greater confidence in practical response options.

At ConnectFutures, we create and deliver practically minded workshops that seek to develop a sense of citizenship, respect, and intolerance to hate that extends across on/offline worlds.

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